


I Don't Wanna Be Your Friend-JackDaniels

by bonesbuffyangelfan



Category: Agent Carter (TV)
Genre: Angst, JackDaniels, M/M, S2E1 spoilers, briefly mentioned canon-era homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-21
Updated: 2016-01-21
Packaged: 2018-05-15 07:10:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5776327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bonesbuffyangelfan/pseuds/bonesbuffyangelfan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack realizes that he’s been in love with Daniel for quite a long time and steels himself to tell Daniel.  However, he’s too late…</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Don't Wanna Be Your Friend-JackDaniels

Disclaimer: I own nothing of Agent Carter or the song “I Don’t Wanna Be Your Friend”. Marvel and Pat Benatar own those, respectively.

 

Did you see me last night?  
I was there in the dark  
I saw her look at you the way I used to do  
When I still had your heart  
I watched you take her hand  
There was love in your eyes  
I remember when you looked at me that way too  
Before we said goodbye

 

When Carter had phoned him to give her debriefing of the evidence she’d found in L.A. so far and let slip Sousa was seeing someone, Jack couldn’t believe it. Daniel Sousa with a girlfriend? The same Daniel Sousa who had never once dated or even shown an interest in women during the five years Jack had known him working for the SSR? So, Jack had done what any normal lovesick curious friend would do; he flew to L.A. himself to stalk him to catch up. Jack got Sousa’s probable location from Rose and took a can there. He didn’t even know what he intended to do or say when he saw Daniel. All he knew is he had to go. Which is how he found himself skulking outside of a cute little hole-in-the-wall French restaurant, watching Daniel and his girlfriend have dinner.

I don't want to be your friend  
I just want to be your lover  
I don't think I can pretend that you mean nothing to me  
It's hard enough to say goodbye  
Even when you know it's over  
I don't want to be your friend  
I want to be your lover

Jack couldn’t have articulated what he felt at that moment if someone had asked. It felt like he was given a swift punch to the stomach and all the wind was knocked out of him. Seeing Daniel with a woman felt like a betrayal, despite how little sense that made. On shaky legs Jack walked to a bench a few feet away and sat down heavily. As he did, he was reminded of how Daniel used to take his lunch outside on a bench in the park once the warm spring days hit back in New York.

Am I gone from your thoughts  
Forgotten somehow?  
When you lie there with her  
Does my memory stir any part of you now?  
I know that I should concede  
Face the truth and all that  
I know I should realize I'm not part of your life anymore  
But I can't

Jack ruminated on how and when he’d started calling him Daniel in his mind rather than Sousa. It was before Daniel had become chief of the L.A. office; he’d became chief because Jack couldn’t handle having him around anymore. He was always fantasizing about what could be, and wishing Daniel had felt the same. But that wasn’t healthy, so he’d recommended Daniel for promotion and transfer. As he stared pensively into the evening sky, Jack wondered if Daniel had ever thought of him in a romantic way. He probably hadn’t; after all, most men don’t think those thoughts about other men. Jack knew he should give up, just accept that there was no way they could ever work out, but he held onto some niggling little hope that they could.

Cause I don't want to be your friend  
I just want to be your lover  
I don't think I can pretend that you mean nothing to me  
It's hard enough to say goodbye  
Even when you know it's over  
I don't want to be your friend  
I want to be your lover

 

It was hard coming to terms with the fact that he was bisexual. Even harder was the fact that Daniel was most likely straight and would never share his feelings let alone expand on them. If he thinks back, Jack could pinpoint the exact day he knew he had fallen for Daniel: the day he saved his life from Dr. Ivchenko in Stark’s airfield.

And when I think I've had enough  
And I just can't stand the pain  
I reminisce about the way it felt to have you every day  
You know that every time I hear your voice  
I still get a thrill  
And there's nothing I can do about it

 

Jack still felt as if he’d been punched in the stomach as he thought more about what could’ve been with Daniel. Those half-smiles he’d get when he says a bad pun, the extra sandwiches Daniel brings for him on stakeouts, the drinks grabbed after work together…Jack mentally shook himself as he realized he had to just stop. He needed to get over Daniel, or rather, his fantasy of him.

I don't want to be your friend  
I just want to be your lover  
I don't think I can pretend that you mean nothing to me  
It's hard enough to say goodbye  
Even when you know it's over  
I don't want to be your friend  
I want to be your lover  
I don't want to be your friend  
I want to be your lover  
I don't want to be your friend

 

Jack left the bench as he saw Daniel and his girlfriend rise from their seats. He quickly hailed a cab and was back at the airport waiting for the next flight to New York in less than an hour. He had decided he'd go home, forget this excursion ever happened, and content himself with his memories and fantasies. Maybe one day he’d tell Daniel...


End file.
